45. Stay Alive

Saturday evening, Caolu Town, Shanghai. I had a walk around the town district to focus my mind after a day activities.

In meantime of walk I was listening to the music just to get in mood to make thoughts through about the recent three days. Three days where a kind of longing feeling got me quite firmly I couldn’t do anything to get out of screams, cries or whatever it was in my head.

The most what screamed in my head was calling my friends from Europe, from Poland to meet. I don’t know actually why such a feeling came to me. Perhaps after the recent “goodbye” time I considered I stay “alone” here in China and such a small thought became such a great almost I was close to give up myself.

While walking back home I made a statement that everything will be fine. Just said it to myself to get up my mind to be opened and free from any fears. A music I was listening to during the entrance to the apartment was “Stay Alive” played by José González.

Right after I left my bag on the chair, I grabbed a tablet to open the Internet to browse some news from today. Everything happened so fast in one minutes after entering the apartment I was almost ready to log in to the computer.

Unusually I turned a tablet into a vertical position. At the block-screen – which is presented at the picture I add along with this writing – is set a picture of Shanghai IFC Tower taken from Shanghai Tower. At the moment I saw the picture on screen I heard these words “Do whatever just to stay alive!”.

I don’t know why, but it impressed me that much I couldn’t do anything just to sit down and to wonder what just happened to me.

Have you got sometimes such a situation that in one moment all your thoughts and feelings changes in 180*? This is what just happened to me!

Immediately I felt a glow feeling like something has left me right here right now! I even can’t explain certainly that feeling! Suddenly I considered I get free from some worries or I don’t know what else was that and I thought to dedicate this writing.

I dedicate this writing to all who live their life alone. Who has no friend, no family, nobody! I keep my fingers crossed that one day you’ll meet someone who’ll pay his/hers attention to you and will enter into a relationship with you. Personally I hate the feelings of loneliness, nevertheless I like somehow the feeling of missing.

As one wise friend told at once: “Me, when I was missing or I miss something/someone, I just turn this feeling into a positive case being happy that I have a chance to miss and how big happiness I’ll have when I’ll come back home soon or I’ll meet someone!”.

Thanks God I do I have a lot of people to miss and also to those people I dedicate this writing, so you can remember I’m always thinking about you!

At the end I’d like to direct my words to those, who are in a similar situation like I do: far away from Homeland, finding a self in a kind of wild/chaos environment, quite often meeting with misunderstoods. Everything is gonna be alright! And if you are on the edge of your capability, remember: “Do whatever just to stay alive”; think positively and move on! And the time will pass fast itself.

Look at positives from living in place you’re. Make some new relationships, meet a random person or just go to the people, be among them! And if only you’ll miss someone, just call or greet that person in your mind. Sometimes you may unexpectedly get the message back like “How are you? I was just thinking about you”…


“Stay Alive” by José González

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